They strip searched an old guy at the airport yesterday.
They asked him if he was wearing an underwear bomb and he said "Depends..."

Rapper Vanilla Ice has decided to make a comeback. In order to upgrade his image, he will now be calling himself Vanilla Ice Latte.

I used to live in an area that was subject to flooding, so I had nothing but inflatable furniture on the first floor. In the event of flooding, it moved itself to the second floor.

They're coming out with a new breakfast cereal for racists. They're calling it "Special-KKK"

A friend of mine came up to me the other day and said "I'm still pissed at you, but I can't remember why."
I slapped him and said, "Does that help?"