6 Life Hacks for Flaky People / college humor :: life hacks :: comics (funny comics & strips, cartoons)

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6 Life Hacks for Flaky People
AT DINNER WITH AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND WHOS BORING YOUR EAR OFF?FEEL YOURPHONEVIBRATE?LIFE HACK: repeat ,iuh huh. and weird. to successfullyDIVERT YOUR CONVERSATIONAL PARTNERS ATTENTION. NOW TEXT AWAY. THAT WAY, YOU CAN FULFILL YOUR BULLSHIT OBLIGATION TO THIS DUDE, WHILE MAKING COOLER BOMB-ASS
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AT DINNER WITH AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND WHO’S BORING YOUR EAR OFF? FEEL YOUR PHONE VIBRATE? LIFE HACK: repeat ,iuh huh.” and “weird.” to successfully DIVERT YOUR CONVERSATIONAL PARTNER’S ATTENTION. NOW TEXT AWAY. THAT WAY, YOU CAN FULFILL YOUR BULLSHIT OBLIGATION TO THIS DUDE, WHILE MAKING COOLER BOMB-ASS PLANS FOR AFTER. But she’s my mom, Weird. you know, and if she’s only got two Oh months, 1 think 1 have to go home. [we_d_j SLEEP PAST YOUR ALARM? WAKE UP TO SEE FIVE MISSED CALLS? REALIZE YOUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT THAT BRUNCH PLACE WHERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET FORTY MINUTES AGO? 5 Jr." iX ! VM LIFE HACK: text them “SRY on my WAY, BE THERE IN FIVE.” BOOM! YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF AN EXTRA FORTY-FIVE MINUTES. NOW TAKE A LEISURELY SHOWER. DOUBLE-BOOKED? FRIEND STILL NAGGING YOU ABOUT WHETHER YOU CAN ATTEND THAT EXPENSIVE CONCERT YOU TECHNICALLY COMMITTED TO? SIMPLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO? LIFE HACK: if you delete the texts, you DELETE THE PROBLEM. IT’S THAT EASY. PLUS: YOU CAN ALWAYS APOLOGIZE AFTERWARDS, BECAUSE WHATEVER, SHE’LL GET OVER IT. ¿ rà X \jW' /rMl / i X \\l Í xti V né f) J tu V l\ i (gJuACiff® LIFE HACK PRO TIP: THE NEXT MORNING, TEXT HER “C U TONITE!:)” WHEN SHE RESPONDS SAYING THAT THE CONCERT WAS, IN FACT, THE PREVIOUS NIGHT, RESPOND “WHAT?!” AND THEN DON’T TEXT AGAIN FOR THREE DAYS. YOU TRIED, AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH. OWE A FRIEND THIRTY BUCKS? BUT DON! HAVE EXACT CHANGE? LIFE HACK: words like “oh, you know what...,” “yeah, yeah, i got you next TIME,” AND “AH, SORRY DUDE, MY BAD” CREATE AN AURA OF AUTHORITY AND RELIABILITY THAT SUPPRESSES ANXIETY, FRUSTRATION, AND YOUR FRIEND’S MEMORY WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY ELIMINATING ANY ILLUSION OF FUTURE OBLIGATION. THEN SMILE, SHRUG, AND LEAVE. PLUS - FREE DINNER. GOT A HOT DATE COMING OVER, BUT LACK SUFFICIENT GLASSWARE? LIFE HACK: your roommate’s family heirloom wine glasses can easily be CONVERTED IN YOUR FAMILY HEIRLOOM WINE GLASSES, IF YOU SIMPLY USE THEM. THAT WAY, YOU DON’T NEED TO BUY YOUR OWN WINE GLASSES. LIFE HACK PRO TIP: IF YOU LEAVE THEM IN THE SINK, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WASH THEM EITHER. ' r ^ , : LATE FOR YOUR SISTER’S BRIDAL SHOWER? LIFE HACK: EH. DON’T BOTHER.
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