Details tipping and tooting
Several years ago I was having lunch with a friend at a terrible restaurant called Red Robin. 1/ • ¿ «E0 Despite being in a terrible restaurant, our server was anything but terrible. Not only was she kind, graceful, and really good at her job, she was also quite b&autlful. She called me sweetie after she took my drink order. I think I’m in love. Two burgers. Two beers. Will that be all, gentlemen? She’s like the Mother Teresa of greasy hamburgers! Which is why we were both so startled when, after dropping off our food and turning to leave, she farted on us. v It was not a big, greasy fart it was more like a tiny trumpet. That's the sound we Ineard. It was such a graceful little noise, we spent a moment debating whether or not it was an actual fart. V Did that really just happen? Did our perfect little angel just fart on us?! There's no way. It was probably just her shoe squeaking or someth- OH GOD JESUS IT SMELLS LIKE MUSTARD GAS AND NACHOS \ When she dropped off the bill, we said nothing, but we debated how much to leave for a tip. What is the proper tipping etiquette when a fart is involved? Maybe even Something occurred to me that day; when I fart at work which I do CONSTANTLY no one deducts my pay. And if I’m having a slow day, or not feeling well, or just acting grUHnpy, I still get paid the same. I mean sure, if I ran around the office every day being flatulent and cranky, eventually it would impact my pay grade. i • f/ * But not if it’s just an off day. And thafs what I assumed with Little Miss FartRobin. I assumed it was just an off day. I get it- waiters and waitresses work in customer service. It’s their JOB to be nice, regardless of what kind of day they’re having. But it’s also their JOB to take down orders, pick Up food, fetch drinks, do math, bus tables, juggle ten things in their head at once, all while putting on a charming happy show for a bunch of strangers with low blood sugar. They have to babysit these demanding, fickle strangers, write down a series of complex instructions, deliver those instructions to another group of people (who may or may not get it right) and return to the group of demanding, fickle strangers, who get to rate their performance and adjust their pay accordingly. Ok, litrie baby Travis here wants the grilled cheese. And make sure it's cut into perfectly tesselbted triangles or he’ll start screaming Hey, can you separate the bill for us and charge each card according to what we ate? Excuse me sr. I requre more Ranch dressing n crder to feel whole. And customers can be so cruel, especially those who have never worked in customer service, or those who generally suck at life. ^ They’re failures at home, or powerless at work, so they pounce on the opportunity to boss someone around These are the types of people you typically see throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get the right kind of artificial sweetener. Hey, I ordered sweet potato fries and I got regular fries instead. Thafs nice. Go tell your waitress. I’m on my lunch break studying to get into med school so I can someday defibrillate your bloated, awful heart back from what would surely be the end of your bloated, awful life. r This is why I always tip, and I always tip well. Even if my server isn’t perfect. Even if he or she makes a huge, terrible mistake, or an adorable little stinky one. Red Robin / Seattle Easttake 3*b Fuhrman Ave I. Seattle. WA h»oa Server Amy Table Wi/x Guests x bacon GUACAMOLE BlfiGER WHISKEy B8Q B^GER MAC N JACK BEER to)
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