OUR RECENT DEFEAT HAS TAUGHT US THIS:
AS WE SEE IN THIS PAINTING
armour\
DOES NOTHING J
WELL
FUCK
THAT
ALL THE NO PROTECTION OF FULL PLATE AT A FRACTION OF THE WEIGHT
A FULLY ARMOURED WARRIOR, STABBED STRAIGHT THROUGH THE BREASTPLATE
WE'RE TRYING A RADICAL NEW DESIGN
BY A TODDLER WITH A

MY OWN BUTT LOOKS LIKE A BOX OF APPLES IN A SACK
TITS UP FRONT TO DISTRACT OR OFFEND THE ENEMY
THE ARMY'S NOT JUST ABOUT KILLING ANY MORE
ASS IN THE BACK TO INSPIRE MORALE i IN OUR TROOPS .
I FIND THAT ASS TOTALLY DEMORALISING
IT’S ABOUT LOOKING GOOD WHILE YOU DO IT
r YOUR ASS WILL > BE AN