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the oatmeal

the oatmeal

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(mrtffrtnfuuuuiism
lAlhy I'd fiathe^
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ke punched in the testicles than call customer service
CMated gy "The Oatmeal
-888-LETS-GET-RETARDED
Tipsl you Wave to -find the phone numioep
Sometimes then'll nupj the phone numkjep deep nJlthin the nJewile lo
How to use a
selfie stick
without bothering others.,selfie stick,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,how to
The Oatmeal,selfie stick,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,how to

The Oatmeal,oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,week,reaction,the oatmeal

Trust
is a tricky thing.,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
and placing yourself in tine hands of another
----------v-,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
It means Inanding over what is most precious to you,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
and saying Here, this is yours,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
Trust means making yourself vulnerable,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
J.
exposing your tender underbelly,,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
Trust is tine foundation of love.,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal
Its how we truly connect with
one anoth-
SHI T,oatmeal,cats,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,fail,the oatmeal

What a mobile uuebsi+e is SUppOS^d to do
readable on this
What every major news outlet is doing=
Turning this
Logo	Navigation
Sidebar
Content

//? ! \ I
Into this
The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,site,mobile
I am not a happy person.
When I tell people this, they infer that I am
unhappy.
They assume my status is binary^ O
either Im ajoyous triumph,
They recognize no spectrum, only two states of being >
happy
 and 
unhappy.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
But Ive never felt 'happy. Ive felt joy. Ive felt bliss.
But those feelings are ephemeral.
Being 'happy implies permanence.
It implies you completed all the prerequisites.
And now you get to sit atop your giant pile of happy, forever.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips,
It implies you won.
r^(
 beat the end boss. ~,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
When I disparage this idea of happiness, the counter-argument is always the same^
"Oh I krouj!
It's all about the journey.
The conversation about "theJourney" is always coupled with the idea that the Journey is ajoyous one, rich with smiles
and fun and laughter.
Also,Journeys require endpoints,
The problem with 'happy* is a lot like the problem with Pluto.
Several years ago, Pluto lost its designation as a planet, which caused a lot of Uproar.

But Pluto itself was never the problem. Its our definition of 'planet* that was the problem. 'Planet* comes from a Greek word, meaning 'wanderer
Our sense of happiness is so brittle, it can be destroyed simply by asking whether or not it exists.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
j//,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Its beautiful.
Thank you.
I l,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Does it make you
Glorkappy?
I
Glorkappy?,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
, Glorkappy.
Its when you generally feel good all the time.
1	 smile a lot
because youre fulfilled.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Oh, I don't know.
Ijust like SlargNakking.
Sometimes my arms hurt from lifting these, and sometimes I get frustrated.
But I find it meaningful.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
I guess I never really thought about it until now.
I guess Im not all that Glorkappy.
I guess Im UnGlorkappy.,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Thats too bad.
It really 1 beautiful, though.
Thank you.
x.-,happiness,person,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Maybe
Im just built differently.
Maybe I was born anxious and angry and this is bow I find peace with tbe universe.
Maybe I truly am miserable, and everyone else is feeling something Im not.
Or maybe theyre all full of shit.
Its irrelevant. Because Im not happy, and I dont pretend to be.
I run over mountains until my toenails fall off.
I run until my feet bleed and my skin burns and my bones scream.
I read.
I read long, complicated books about very smart things.
And I read short, silly books about very stupid things.
I read until their stories are more fascinating to me than

My dog has two speeds=
Zero miles-per-hour
SHIT-yEAH-LlGHTSPEED-MOTHERFUCKER
miles-per-hour
The Oatmeal,dogs,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,speed
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
10 y.
For fucks sake, Higgins,
I said to pack CRAMPONS.
The Oatmeal I,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,packing,food,meal,fail
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