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jokesworkmoneysandbox

Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before the job, please see your manager.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

LemonyTricket

jokesgovernmentliesilluminatinwotaxlaw abiding citizensandbox

Little Johnie and the Government

little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she

said

proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil

spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and

I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current

events.”

“Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath

… Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box

full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said.

“$2,467!”

cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell

enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up

a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog ****!”Then

I would say,”It is dog ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

“I used the governmental approach of giving you something ****ty for

free, and then making you pay to get the ****ty taste out of your

mouth.”