dude come on

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How women react when their boyfriend is criticized.
'Hey, so I heard about your new boyfriend."
"Ya! He's so amazing! we're so much in love and blahblahblahblah.'
"Ya, why are you dating such a jerk."
"He's not a jerk! He's so nice to me and compliments me all the time!"
"Well of course he's

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Really sucks that I'm in my period, I would really like to have sex right now!
Well you still can give me a bj you know
How can your period be of any importance in a bj?
OMG YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! I DON'T HAVE ANY SEXUAL HORMONES RIGHT NOW AND BLEURSHBLAHLAHALAA!!
You just said that you wanted

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$^sitting around the campfire with my grandpa as a kid pulls out a beer Grandpa, can I have one of those? Well, I need to know if you're a man.. . Does your dick reach your asshole? \ Then you can't have one. n LiTTLE LONGER ThflN « FeW MiNuTeS LaTER.r sr.,woe OMG! A cigarette. Can I PLEASE$

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*watching husband rape sane fools on mortal kombat.
you knew what would be great? you get on the headset so they think they're getting
owied by a girl. nah
)
ERMACWINS!
sassy asshole 1 "V
v:
HT 9Uy5j 50rryi T JU5 + •found mu headset
LOL
11 o o,funny pictures,auto,rage comics,me gusta

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*Me and my friends chillin in the car
We decided to make a stop and get high as fuck
Everyone sleepin but my friend Chris
He gets ultra high and decides to drive
Sttj r "** •
Well right now you are struggling to survive, / £fcand your soul is between ’iheaven and earth
Well since you lemme

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At the restaurant with dad
Now, son, this is what I call a steak. Are you finished?
1 WtE.0 TQ U5E RESTROOM
he's using a lot of time
Damn it! Where is he!?
Starts to look around
Spots him
Spots him outside
EXIT £
EXIT
Thy shal not sleep safe tonight, dad!,funny pictures,auto,rage comics

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one night i forgot to turn off my swag
the next morning i was covered in hoes,funny pictures,auto,rage comics,dude come on,forever alone,SWAG

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Me, with GF and her Mom
Derp is such a mama's boy, he still lets his mom cut his hair
Thats so sweet, you're such a good son Derp!
It seems like just yesterday Derpette used to crawl into bed with me and Mr. Derp to sleep.
I like to sleep with other people now mom
What is this unholy burning

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*me walking into class late after staying up all night to do this bitch's homework
'‘'Sit through entire fucking class learning about whale balls.
(an average male can carry four gallons of seamen),funny pictures,auto,rage comics,trollface,bad poker face,poker face,happy,dude come on,wait a

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*1 was making coffee for a group of new acquaintances I'd invited over
*1 stuck my head around the door from the kitchen and asked "Which one of you was black again?1
"No, ha ha, I meant the coffee"
"So did I."
POKER FACE,funny pictures,auto,rage comics,poker face,lol guy,smile,dude come on

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