These 8 Characters Are Definitely Going To Die...
THE SCIENTIST Doing that thing where they treat the monster like it’s cute, but then it rips their face off. Because doing experimental research and gathering evidence is the very height of man’s hubris. Ironically. Because now it’s personal. Before it was just about stopping a murderous crime spree, but NOW you give a shit because they killed your older-cop-buddy -guy. HONORABLE WARRIOR GUY My PEOPLE ARE FROM A MARTIAW COLOWy OF MAVADO SAMURAI, 60 OBVIOUSLy I'LL HOLD THEM OFF WHILE yOU auys SO AHEAD. Saying something about “ancestors”. Definitely not because these characters are almost always a mish-mosh of racist caricatures from the colonial era. WISECRACKING PILOT Because killing comedy creates drama, that’s the rule. FEMALE CHARACTER WHO GOT NAKED f I WILL ALWAyS REMEMBER OUR 5IMSLE MOMENT OF PUySICAL IMTIMACy TUAT WAS KIK1D OF 5UDDEW AMD SHOEHORWED IWTO THE 2№ ACT. As implied punishment for expressing their sexuality. Because the ghosts of our Puritan forbearers still haunt us. First. Because the screenwriter knew that they should include a black character, but after 20 pages they realized they had no clue how to write them. MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ I'M ¿U5T TOO 1 &ADA55 TO LIVE. I Sneering into the camera. Because she gets so much shit done, there’s nothing left for the protagonist to do. Fulfilling their programming. Because they’re literally disposable.
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