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Ali Heibi
Ali Heibi
the oatmealcomicsbabycats
Having a baby Vs having a cat The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,baby,cats
Babies come shrieking into this world as selfish, amniotic,Jam-covered goblins. Cats come into this world as kittens, which are independent, adorable,,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,baby,cats
Babies crap in plastic underwear. à instead of seeing the neni Sta**- iAia^s in theaters, >joM must l0£ttV\€ in the vJate^s of caca! F Children crap on your dreams. Cats Just crap in a box. SHUT THE DûôK. x RtûwiKt snewct A**o SûLf^MlT'f WHUC X DlfMf fH»S KtCTAw&ulftR ^p,ViO Tout*,the
When babies are upset, they produce bud noises. t>oob-v(\\pX. AkXbe > «A! T№ iaJaY my SCfctMS Hll be beTTefi- ^ehn-v. y T^S 15 V)0T \AtaW&-Paz-Whvs i s+K)ULo wAl Aoae. ^ vX>\A/1 ttAVe ftoLLeo Too (k\)o i M siuac Tws is yioT Ay3 toeAl Position To scueec^ por e>ooe>-oA\RY. I H ■ When cats
If you spoil a baby, they’ll become a terrible child, which will become a terrible adult, which will become the next Hitler. If you spoil a cat, they lack the physical capacity to grow up and command armies. They can’t ruin anyone’s life other than your own, so spoil away. [ i've f*-un -the
Babies like to ruin romantic moments. Cats just like to watch.,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,baby,cats
Babies have no special powers, other than transforming interesting, hopeful people into bald, sallow, regretful barf-slaves. A\ ^ t\y dream e to gane**"*?!. ^ of steep W* But its your turn to mop up caca.,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,baby,cats
Cats on the other hand, can see in the dark, run a+ incredible speeds, and perform amazing acrobatic feats. Pi cat is your own They are furry cruise missiles of love and horror. I art just as coofused by nood swings as you off. tOow p«t billj. They’re demanding enough to fulfill your need to
Written and drawn by The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,baby,cats
+7.8
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicsdifference

Minor differences

seats warmed b\| robots seats warmed b\) humans The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,difference
Poq vs Leash cat vs Leash,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,difference
showering at xjovr favorite temperature showering at one degree colder than govr favorite temperature. PROMISE ME,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,difference
racking for a trip rocking for \jovr retvrn,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,difference
cat vs laset pointer w HAjT (S THIS OPr»cAi OP LIGHT AND CONFUSION j itousTSTM. »T our THE RED DRAGCMMSES WIT HUST &£ SLAIN COME ...RIDE WITH Me ...CHASE THE.DRAGON a«T*S£ 0 pog vs Laser Pointer Hey. is that food in your hand? No? That*s cool man hey listen lets go sprint in circles
The women's restroom The Men's restroom HELLO THERE, My BOyi COME. URINATE WITH ME. LET US DISCUSS GEOPOLITICS AND TOUCHDOWNS. The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,difference

+11.0
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicsmoon
+7.3
Ali Heibi
Ali Heibi
catkillthe oatmealcomics
This is what they found= One in three cats killed prey Of these, they averaged about two kills per week Cat’s schedule this week — I Mon Tues | Wed | Thur Fri Sat | Sun >/eat cat food >/ sleep V play >/ sleep V blink lazily /sleep more MURDER V eat ysleep yiook cute «/cuddle with
Keep in mind that these are uuell-fed, domesticated house cats. Meaning, they’re not killing for survival they’re doing it FOR FUN. !dou know those “gifts’ your cat leaves on the doorstep? The corpses you see account for less tlnan IA of the actual body count,cat,kill,the oatmeal,comics,funny
What your cat shows you I gave him a good, clean death; a soldier’s death. What your cat DOES NOT show you,cat,kill,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
There are an estimated 84 million cats in this country. This means that according to the statistics above 3,8 million of them are murder cats and the total body count from domesticated house cats everuuear is TWO BILLION NINE HUNDRED AND TWELVE MILLION ( a.,na.ooo,ooo ),cat,kill,the
This means that if cats were killing people, every year they would wipe out 41% of tine human population Dogs are a man’s best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killers. IN CONCLUSION. How much do cats actually kill? MUCH,cat,kill,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
+6.2
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicspartyinvite
What I mean when I say “definitely." Hey Bro-Daujg, are you conning to my party on Friday? Th& Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,party,invite
+7.1
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicst-rexstand up
The Oatmeal http'//theoatmealcom,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,t-rex,stand up
+6.4
Ali Heibi
Ali Heibi
mitensfwgifthe oatmealcomics

Red Velvet Mite

This is a and he is here to teach you about,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Red velvet mites look like obese spiders covered in plush, velvety fabric They do not bite or sting, and they are found all over the world.,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
There’s a lot you could learn from these marvelous arthropods, but I’d like to focus on one thing in particular, and that one thing is * * * * * \ *■ :* ♦ •» # *•*« #** *V* * * • * *w* * A*-**'»*. * * * %» * #;« * Ç;* *XH'* *.y. * For when these sexy little beanbag chairs decide it’s time
,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
The red velvet mite then lays a silken trail that leads to the entrance of his newly-constructedjizz castle. HRMPFFFFF! And it is at the head of this trail where he waits, ever vigilant and hopeful.,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the
When a female passes by, the male starts dancing,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
And if she’s impressed with the quality and craftsmanship of his love garden, she’ll go inside it and sit atop one of his large sperm bubbles, called spermatophores, and impregnate herself. And the two red velvet mites will live happily ever after.,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content,
This is love. Love is not a fancy car or a flexed muscle. It is a garden which you must till. It's not a winning lottery ticket. Love is a castle that must be built and defended It requires patience. It requires dedication find it sometimes requires dancing Unfortunately. our lesson in
Every now and then, the empty love garden of one male red velvet mite is discovered by another. --¿„-»A»,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
He the love garderv,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult content, dirty and nasty jokes,gif,animated pictures,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons
Like I said before^ love is a castle. It must be built. It must be garrisoned. It requires a commitment of the heart, mind, and soul. So love Love And love with the of your being Because you never know when someone is going to stop by andjizz on your house,mite,nsfw,sex related or lewd, adult

+6.0
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicsdogs
If my dogs were a pair of middle-aged men,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs
,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs
(EMERGENCyiy,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs
CJCN Ot'N Ot'N CHEW Mw rrttw CHEW CHt QfcW otw crtW otw свло* л*» Qj^vv HRMPf otW снеи/ CHEW,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs
fiPÊf д y L lu FW4J jyy ¡£ ’Uÿ $=37%\ □il л с íjU J/T I 1 1,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs
Ok Jenkins, first you must pick a spot. Then spin around ... not once, r\r\+ +UII/-P Now, before you let rt out. find the nearest human -- preferably a small child, and make uninterrupted eye contact. Over there, across the street! Perfect form, Jenkins!,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics &
The Oatmeal,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,dogs

+7.1
Full_Ben
Full_Ben
the oatmealcomicscatswhiskeydrinks
,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,cats,whiskey,drinks
+15.2
DeadWhale
DeadWhale
the oatmealcomicsgreetingmore in comments
How most people like to greet others How some people like to greet others.,the oatmeal,comics,funny comics & strips, cartoons,greeting,more in comments
+1.2
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